Destructive Nature
Cast * Jake Clawson/Razor - Barry Gordon * Chance Furlong/T-Bone - Charles Adler * Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille * Commander Feral – Gary Owens * Lieutenant Tobias Furlong - Kevin Conroy * Mayor Manx – Jim Cummings Guest Cast (in order of appearance): * Mr. Young – Robert Ito * Enforcer Commando – Ed Gilbert * Burge – Ed Gilbert * Sgt. Talon – Ed Gilbert * MASA Technician #2 – Richard Gilbert Hill Supporting Cast (in order of appearance): * Ann Gora – Candi Milo * Video Game – Maurice LaMarche * Dr. Viper – Frank Welker * MASA Flight Controller – Barry Gordon * MASA Technician #1 – Frank Welker Transcript Act One Manx: At three-hundred stories, Megakat Tower is the tallest, most modern office complex in the whole city! Mr. Young: Very impressive. Manx: Oh yes! Why, it’s the perfect place to house your corporate headquarters, Mr. Young! Mr. Young: Mmm, perhaps. Manx: How’m I doing? Callie: Greed brings out the best in you, Mr. Mayor. Manx: Thank you. Callie: He sunk most of the city treasury into this place, but that’s off the record. Ann: Gotcha, and thanks again for giving me the exclusive, Callie. Manx: Now, why don’t we continue this meeting at Megakat Golf Course? We tee off in ten minutes! Mr. Young: So close to the golf course? This is an excellent location! Manx: That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to tell you! Right This way, gentlemen! Jake: (playing a Space Kat video game) ''I don't think so, Oops. Bingo! Two million points and I’ve saved the world! Chance: ''(water the plants) How's my environment? Jake: Sounds good, Chance! Chance: Hey, I like the smell of a sour milk. Jake: Nice. But this is my game that has an 8-bit screen in it. Chance: (keeps watering the plants) Jake: I can be the best personal. Like this. Chance: Jake: Video Game: Space Kat! Chance: So who's gonna save this universe? Ann: Today, only a few potted plants occupy the Megakat Tower, but when it opens next month this place is guaranteed to be a bustling business center! This is Ann Gora, Kat’s Eye News. Callie: And this is Callie Briggs, klutz. No, it couldn’t be! Ann: Get some good shots of the courtyard. What the–?! Dr. Viper: Thanks to my growth formula, thisss building is now impenetrable! But I count on you, my creationsss, to protect me from Feral, his Enforcers, and most of all, those meddling SssWAT Katsss! Callie: It is Dr. Viper! Dr. Viper: Sssoon, this foul cccity will be one giant, glorious ssswamp! Callie: I’d better get some help! Dr. Viper: A ssspy! Callie: No way out! Not connected yet! Jake: Looks like who's in trouble? Yes, Miss Briggs? Callie: We’ve got problems, guys! Dr. Viper’s back! Jake: He destroys the perfect nature in Megakat Towers! Chance: Viper? Where? Callie: At Megakat Towers! And this time he’s got an army of plant monsters to– Jake: Code Red! Ms. Briggs is in trouble! SWAT Kats! To the jet! Let's kick some Viper tail! Chance: I'm on him! Feral: Report! Enforcer Commando: According to witnesses, Commander, this stuff just sprang up in minutes! But it’s gonna take a week to cut through. Feral: Not if we burn our way in! Enforcer Commando: That’s a ten story wall of dry brush, sir! If our fire gets outta hand it’ll torch the whole city! Feral: Objection noted. Ann: Ann Gora, Kat’s Eye News! Commander Feral, are you aware that Deputy Mayor Briggs is trapped somewhere in that tower? Feral: Briggs? That figures. Get the choppers ready, we’ll take the tower from above! Burge: Kats alive! This stuff’s acid! Eating right through my chopper! Feral: Weapon systems gummed up! Viper? Should’ve known that crazy lizard would be behind this mess! Dr. Viper: Run, Feral, you fool. Because there’s nothing you can do to ssstop me! Callie: Unh! Let me go! Dr. Viper: Sssave your breath, Miss Briggsss! My Plantimalsss obey only me. Besidesss, you don’t want to run away and miss out on all the excitement! (cackles) Callie: What is that thing? Dr. Viper: My ssspore pod? Why it’s going to explode! And at this height, it’s beautiful sporesss will cover the entire cccity! I can sssee it all now. A spectacular new Megakat City. No more ugly metal and plassstic, only beautiful ssswamp, ruled by me! Dr. Viper’s Megaswamp Cccity! It will be ssso beautiful! Callie: Wake up and smell the coffee, Viper! Here come the SWAT Kats! Razor: Looks like a farmer’s market down there! T-Bone It’s Viper alright, and he’s got Callie! Not to mention the not too ugly moneys! Dr. Viper: Attack them, my little petsss! Razor: We're volunteers! T-Bone: We’ve got some plug-ugly company! Razor: Acknowledged, T-Bone. Weapon systems ready. Hey these things are spittin’ acid! T-Bone: Spittin' acid? So I’ve noticed! I’m takin’ evasive action! Razor: Let's see if you can take an evasive action! T-Bone: (to Razor) Piranha missiles now! Awaay! Razor: Right you are, T-Bone! Aaah! T-Bone, these things melted my missiles! T-Bone: Your Piranha Missiles are good at it. Dr. Viper: Attack! Dessstroy the SWAT Kats! You sssee, Ms. Briggsss, my armies are endlesssss! (gasps) She’s gone! You fool, you let her essscape! Razor: Are you sure you're gonna make it through, T-Bone? You must be scared! T-Bone: Say again, Razor? You must be jokin’! Acknowledge yourself. Razor: I said, I’ll penetrate the building, and come up on Viper from underneath! T-Bone: That’s a negative, Razor. Plants are takin’ over the whole building or haven’t ya noticed? Razor: Affirmative, but Callie’s in there, T-Bone! T-Bone: Riiight. Maintain radio contact at all times, do you copy? Razor: Affirmative, T-Bone. Maintain radio contact at all times he says. I am copy and.. I’m goin’ in! T-Bone: He said that he's gonna penetrate the building without encyclopedias?! (coward) OH No! Act Two Razor: (out of breath) Phew. T-Bone: Razor, you're running out of breath? Talk to me, buddy! Razor: Looks like a swamp in here, but so far so good. What’s your situation? T-Bone: Situation? Razor: Yeah. T-Bone: It’s weird. Razor: Those flying cabbages don’t attack me. Unle- T-Bone: I’m close to the roof. We're in a swamp. Razor: Just keep away from ‘em. I’ll call ya when I find Callie. Don’t like the look of this. Chew on this! I don’t believe it! Razor: T-Bone, Any progress? T-Bone: No sign of Callie. Razor: Gotta run! Out! T-Bone: But I can come too. Razor: You wait here, T-Boy, While I'll go after these flying cabbages! T-Bone: Good luck, ace. Whatever he's trying to say is that his required helmets. Oh boy. Ann: Commander Feral, do you have a plan for getting Deputy Mayor Briggs out of there? Feral: Yes, a simple one. We’re going in! Fire! Toby: They don't stand this chance against those swamp creatures! Enforcer Commando: That did it, Commander! We’re through! Feral: Let’s move in! Blast it! T-Bone: Guess Feral and my big brother got stopped at the door. Manx: What?! Excuse my clumsiness! You play through, I have to make a phone call. Get me Feral! Dr. Viper: Sssoon, my lovely, sssoon! Let those fools waste their time. In fifteen minutes, Megakat City will be mine! Sgt. Talon: The toughest tanks we have, and that–-that thing melted ‘em like butter! Feral: Now you listen to me, Mayor, Dr. Viper has turned your pet skyscraper into a living weed patch, and– Manx: No, you listen to me, Feral! The city has a billion dollars sunk in that tower. Use weed killer if you have to, but get that wacko Viper out of there now! And don’t damage the building doing it! Feral: You don’t understand–- Manx: Don’t do it, Feral! My friends here are about to sign a ten year lease! Mr. Young: Is there a problem, Mayor Manx? Manx: (nervous) Don’t be ridiculous, not at all. Now where were we? Feral: Great! I can’t burn, cut or blast! What does he expect me to do? Leave it to the SWAT Kats? Toby: Exactly, but not. Feral: Think we can handle this? Toby: Yes, sir! Razor: What’s it take to stop these things!? This could buy me some time. (uses a magnifying glass, searching) ''Must be Dr. Viper. Razor: Ah, Ha! ''at a victim, then runs Gotcha! then bumped into a victim's face Oops. while rolling around, then crashes, but stops once seeing it is Callie Razor: (to Callie) Miss Briggs? Callie: (to Razor) Razor? Razor: (to Callie) What are you doing in here? Callie: (to Razor) I don't know... lost. Razor: No. You're not lost! You're safe! Callie: Then who's Dr. Viper? Razor: He's in the roof. Callie: Razor: This way, hurry! Make room, Miss Briggs! Sgt. Talon: Copter 1 is on approach from the chemical factory. Feral: Good. We’ll try it the Mayor’s way. Let’s see how that cabbage likes a thousand gallons of weed killer! Drop payload on my command! Burge: Roger. We have target acquisitioned. Feral: Now! Gotcha! We’re goin’ in! Sgt. Talon: Oh, no! Commander, weed killer only makes it bigger! Feral: Is there no way to destroy these things? T-Bone: Feral’s strikin’ out big time down there. Razor, what’s your status? Razor: I’ve got Ms. Briggs. We’re in the ventilation shaft heading for the roof. T-Bone: The roof? That’s a negative! Those ugly monsters won’t let me get close enough for pickup! Razor: No time for that. Miss Briggs says Viper’s–- Callie: He’s growing a pod to destroy the city! Razor: We’re gonna have to stop him from inside. And these nasty critters. T-Bone: Well ya don’t have much time. from what I can see, that ugly thing is about ready to burst! Razor: We’re on our way, big buddy! Out. Callie: Am I just scared or is it freezing in here? Razor: We'll soon to find out. Razor / Callie: (gasps) Aaaah! Act Three Callie: Now, Razor! Blast ‘em! Razor: With what? I’ve got nothing left but these rope-like things! Callie: It worked! Razor: Yeah, but the cold stopped ‘em first. Callie: Too bad we couldn’t freeze the whole building. Razor: Hey, maybe we can! Come on! T-Bone, I think we found a way to stop Viper. But you’re gonna have to make a fast pickup at the space center. T-Bone: I’m there, buddy. What do you need? Razor: Super rocket coolant. We’ll meet you on the roof. Out. Callie: How can you be so sure we’ll make it in ten minutes? Razor: ‘Cause we’re gonna take a shortcut! Callie: You call this a shortcut? Razor: Hang on tight! Callie: I don’t know about thiiis! Razor: This is easy. Callie: (nervous) Yeah, piece of cake. MASA Flight Controller: (over radio) Turbokat, I say again, this is flight control, you are not cleared for this area. Over. T-Bone: Understood, flight control. But I have an emergency situation here. It musta left the grappling hooks, that's what he said. MASA Flight Controller: (over radio) Explain the nature of your emergency. Over. T-Bone: Here’s the deal… MASA Technician #1: What’s that SWAT Kat want with a tank of super rocket coolant? MASA Technician #2: Who cares? If the front office wants to give freeze juice to a vigilante, who are we to argue? MASA Technician #1: Yeah, but that one barrel has enough coolant to freeze a whole city block! Callie: Razor, we’ve got trouble! Razor: Big trouble! Dr. Viper: It’s just you and me now, sssweetness. Feral is helpless, and the SWAT Kats have run away in their ssstupid jet! Aww, you’re so beautiful! It’s going to be a shame to have you exxxplode! T-Bone: If all the problems to him, I’ll… Callie: Nice knowing you, Razor! Razor: Thanks, and it still will be. I’ve been saving this for last! Hang on! Dr. Viper: Attack! Protect our spore pod! T-Bone: Time for some real flyin’! I owe it that much to Razor. Eat my backwash, you lettuceheads! Oh boy! Barbecued ones! They’re tougher than I thought! Chew this! Razor: Don’t tell me your givin’ up! It Iook like these oughta get a honey flavored cabbage, my favorite! T-Bone: Razor! Dr. Viper: The SssWAT Kats have failed! In a few minutes, it will be all over! Razor: You can “sssay” that again, snake-puss! Dr. Viper: What?! It’s not posssssible! Razor: Anything’s possible, nasty vain! Dr. Viper: You can’t ssstop me now! (growls) Razor: (screams) Dr. Viper: It’sss oblivion for you, SWAT Kat! Callie: Razor! No! Dr. Viper: Yesss! But don’t worry, Ms. Briggs, you’ll be joining him! Razor: Wanna lift? Aww this is great! My weapons systems are all gummed up! T-Bone: Musta gotten too close tot hose sap-slingers. Razor: Yeah. Well, I’m gonna have to drop our thing by hand, if that flying produce doesn’t drop us, first! Wa-hoo! Get ready, Viper! The SWAT Kats are gonna put the big chill or your big plans! T-Bone, go for that big air conditioning unit on the roof! T-Bone: Right on target! It’s now or never! Dr. Viper: (gasps) Feral: Get clear! On the double! Razor: Whew! Looks like this is a frost-free. Any ideas, T-Boy? T-Bone: Yeah. Next time, Dr. Viper better make his plans. That oughta put the big chill! Callie: Better drop me off, guys. I think the Mayor’s gonna need sedation. Razor: It's good to have ya back, Callie. (give Callie a hug) Callie: Same always as I am. Razor: I guess the Megakat City was saved now. (kiss Callie) T-Bone: I've got a better idea. I'm gonna be extremely starving that I would like to eat some Dr. Viper sandwiches, Big chill burgers, Big chill nuggets, Dr. Viper dogs, Dr. Viper pies, and Dr. Viper pizzas. Those best buffet meals I can ever eat. We will come to the buffet and have a feast to be - Razor and Callie in unison: (annoyed angrilly) T-Bone! T-Bone: What? (sighs) Okay, fine. I will stop. Callie: Thanks! It was fun, we have to do it again sometime. Razor: Yeah, right. Take care! See you later, Ms Briggs, we have to get back. And best of all, T-Bone has to water his plants. He's a great gardener. T-Bone: Would I? Thanks for reminding me, Razor. Manx: (wheezing gasp) Criminy… I can’t believe… whaaa-aaa… Mr. Young: Thank you for the golf game, but I think we will pass on your most generous offer. Manx: Now, now, now don’t be hasty! We’ll fix it up just like new! A fresh coat of paint, I’ll upgrade the carpeting! We have some lovely parting gifts, just don’t part! Free golf clubs! Come back! Category:SWAT Kats episode transcripts Category:Season 1 Category:1993